Things that Belong in Sunday School

Sec. 28.002. REQUIRED CURRICULUM.

Subdivision (2)(H) effective beginning with the 2009-2010 school year.

(a) Each school district that offers kindergarten through grade 12 shall offer, as a required curriculum:

(1) a foundation curriculum that includes:

(A) English language arts;
(B) mathematics;
(C) science; and
(D) social studies, consisting of Texas, United States, and world history, government, and geography; and

(2) an enrichment curriculum that includes:

(A) to the extent possible, languages other than English;
(B) health, with emphasis on the importance of proper nutrition and exercise;
(C) physical education;
(D) fine arts;
(E) economics, with emphasis on the free enterprise system and its benefits;
(F) career and technology education;
(G) technology applications; and
(H) religious literature, including the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament) and New Testament, and its impact on history and literature.

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God Hates Healthy People

According to thinkprogress.org, on April 16, Rush Limbaugh, stated that the Icelandic Volcano may be erupting as a result of God showing his displeasure of the healthcare law.

You know, a couple of days after the health care bill had been signed into law Obama ran around all over the country saying, “Hey, you know, I’m looking around. The earth hadn’t opened up. There’s no Armageddon out there. The birds are still chirping.” I think the earth has opened up. God may have replied. This volcano in Iceland has grounded more airplanes — airspace has more affected — than even after 9/11 because of this plume, because of this ash cloud over Northern and Western Europe. At the Paris airport they’re telling people to head to the train station to catch trains out of France, and when people get to the train station they’re telling people, “There aren’t any seats until at least April 22nd,” basically a week from now. It’s got everybody in a shutdown. Earth has opened up. I don’t know whether it’s a rebirth or Armageddon. Hopefully it’s a rebirth, God speaking.

You can watch the show excerpt here.

I actually laughed when I saw the headline and then passed it over to Mr. Lawyer who groaned.  Sadly, this sort of insanity is hardly unexpected anymore and besides – since Jerry Falwell croaked, who’s left to make these ridiculous statements?  No, wait – don’t answer that.  I am well aware of the innumerable loonies waiting in the wings.

So here’s a few thoughts on this:

The volcano has made an awful lot of smoke and pooped out tons (literally) of ash, but no one has actually been harmed by it, so I guess God’s not actually that upset.  I mean, conceivably he could have just blown the country apart – take that, health care!  But no.  Possibly just a warning shot?

Unless he’s actually angry at travellers, which I don’t suppose is the case:

Thousands of flights were canceled Saturday. European air traffic officials said 5,000 flights took place instead of the customary number of 22,000. About 10,400 flights took place in Europe on Friday, compared with the normal 28,000.

But not US travellers – European folk, primarily – most of whom aren’t really even clued in to our legislative processes and if they were they probably wouldn’t give a flying fig.  And those Europeans have had state-run healthcare for eons, so either God is a big-time smiting procrastinator or he’s just not that concerned about it.

There were restrictions on civil flights in 23 countries across most of northern and central Europe. This swath includes Austria, Belgium, Croatia, the Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, most of France, most of Germany, Hungary, Ireland, northern Italy, the Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Romania, Serbia, Slovenia, Slovakia, Sweden, Switzerland, Ukraine and the United Kingdom.

And, seriously, if a Supreme Being was really hacked off about people being able to afford health care, would he really have turned on a volcano thousands and thousands of miles away?  I mean – if he can turn on a volcano with the nod of his head, couldn’t he cause one to sprout right on up in D.C.?  As someone not in DC, I can say that would be pretty cool, but no – it’s waaaay over in some foreign country most Americans (sadly) couldn’t even pick out on a map. 

And after all that, I still don’t understand why anyone, let along a benevolent God would volcano-smite us for helping people get and stay healthy.  I thought Jesus healed the sick – isn’t that what it says in the Bible?  I’m not sure a healing God would really care how that end came about as long as the ultimate goal – ending human suffering – was met.  I don’t know what religion Limbaugh practices, but he either needs to read up on his Bible basics or come up with a better theory.

Besides – how on earth would Limbaugh have such a cosy connection with God?  I doubt any Supreme Being would pay that much attention to a nasty little purveyor of hate such as Rush.  A much more likely scenario is that he’s been doing odd jobs for the red-suited dude with the pitchfork in return for information….he’s more likely to send Volcanoes of Wrath, anyway, isn’t he?  I think that’s the best theory so far.

Guam in Danger of CAPSIZING?

A statement later issued by a spokesperson for the Marines explained that the 8000 US military families to be relocated to Guam will be carefully weighed one by one, along with their personal belongings, and distributed evenly around Guam so as not to disrupt the delicate physical balance of the US island territory.

In other news, Oahu floated within a few miles of coliding with the Japanese Archipelago yet again, but US Navy forces were able to lasso it, and with the help of a strong tailwind, promptly return it to its official position, firmly anchored with specially manufactured coconut husk twine.

Note: Thanks to M.M. for the video.  You can also read about Congressman Johnson’s explanation of his comments here.

“Obama sticker causes road rage”

That’s the caption under news video featured in a news story about a man who (allegedly) became so enraged at a vehicle sporting an Obama-Biden bumper sticker that he decided to tackle the problem himself, namely, by ramming the car, containing a ten-year old child and her father, with his SUV.  Out of control?  Yes.  Hateful?  Yes?  Unexpected?  Not anymore.

And no doubt the Obama sticker caused the road rage, per the caption.  It had nothing to do with the innocent wing-nut ramming his fellow Americans with his SUV.  Clearly, the sticker is to blame and should serve hard time for inciting the violence.  Bad, BAD sticker!!!

Yesterday I mentioned on another site that when my baby doesn’t get her way, she cries and flails angrily about for a few minutes and if that doesn’t get her what she wants (it doesn’t), she will sometimes creep over and bite me on the foot.

I guess the tantrums aren’t working out for the angry righties and because some of them are at the emotional development level of a 22 month old toddler, they are dealing with it in essentially the same way, albeit on a larger scale.

Way to get your point across, whackos – I’m sure you’ll get the law repealed this way.

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