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Guam in Danger of CAPSIZING?

A statement later issued by a spokesperson for the Marines explained that the 8000 US military families to be relocated to Guam will be carefully weighed one by one, along with their personal belongings, and distributed evenly around Guam so as not to disrupt the delicate physical balance of the US island territory.

In other news, Oahu floated within a few miles of coliding with the Japanese Archipelago yet again, but US Navy forces were able to lasso it, and with the help of a strong tailwind, promptly return it to its official position, firmly anchored with specially manufactured coconut husk twine.

Note: Thanks to M.M. for the video.  You can also read about Congressman Johnson’s explanation of his comments here.

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