Dear Local Republican Party:

Thank you so much for the multitude of recent telephone calls lately. Mr. Jared Woodfill, in particular – so nice to hear your robocall. I really do like touching base with you on a daily basis – or should I say with your grating recorded message?

I have three children ages five and under and two of them still nap. Heck, I still nap on occasion. I think it’s adorable when they wake screaming and crabby to your calls. You see, I’m on the Texas no call list and the Federal Do Not Call list, so I don’t get many other calls other than humans who actually wish to speak with me and care what I think instead of calling to dictate what I should believe.

However, I realize you have the First Amendment right to annoy me in my own home, so it’s not actually the calls per se which concern me.

I see you have set your caller ID information to read the name of the county in which I reside rather than “Republican Robocall” or some other more honest label. I can only assume that is because when people see “Republican Robocall” on their caller ID, they ignore the call altogether, yet when they see a call from what deceptively appears to be a government entity, they snap to it and answer the phone.

I know I do – in part because family members work for that government entity and I also do occasional work for cases in the county. While I can’t imagine a court would call me at home, when I see the caller ID, I answer it just in case – you never want to ignore a call from a court.

So, dear Local Republican Party, do I think you have set up the caller ID information like this intentionally? Of course – it’s just naive to think otherwise. Do I think that’s deceptive, even a little dirty to con people into answering their phones? It’s not exactly Bernie Madoff, but yes, it’s dishonest to be sure.

Strangely, I never get automated calls of any kind from the Democrats. I’m not sure if they are so disorganized that they can’t put them together, they realize people hate getting automated calls so they put their money into other activities, they can mysteriously tell that they probably already have my vote, or I simply didn’t make the calling list. Fine with me – keep me off. I doubt an automated political call has ever changed someone’s mind, but I can tell you it certainly wouldn’t change mine.

In conclusion, Local Republican Party, cut it out, for Pete’s sake – this isn’t endearing you to anyone, I assure you. And frankly, you really need to work on being a little more endearing because it’s not looking real good right now.

Sincerely,

Me

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